The Villagers 06

Isabella spent three sleepless nights wondering about what to bring to the show-and-tell. Given how her classmates always made fun of her, she wanted something that would keep them off her back. Come the fated day, the children paraded their toys, pets, trinkets, books, and whatnots. When Isabella's turn came up, she eagerly walked towards the front of the room; gently set a box upon the teacher's table; opened it; proudly smiled; and held up her grandmother's head.

The Villagers 05

Everyone in town knows everybody else. But nobody knows everyone the way Tito, the friendly neighborhood pimp and drug dealer, does.

The Villagers 04

There was once a man who had a barn in the middle of the town. Everyone hated the smell of poultry and cattle excrement that emanated from it. People came and went to the Sheriff's office, bearing complaints and petition letters.

One day, a group of drunk teenagers drove a truck right through the front gates. Nobody ever heard from them since. And while many believe that nobody is running the barn anymore, it still sits in the middle of the town - replete with the aromas that made it legendary.

Just A Thought

The typical Caravaggio story would be either of these:

1. Located in an obscure place; discovered; and donated to the nearest museum.

2. Stolen; somewhere, somehow.

Either way, those things make for a great advertising ploy, don't you think?

The Villagers 03

The Women's League had always thought highly of Mrs. Lee. That was until she decided to sleep with the village plumber. They were caught in the throes of passion, one morning, when Sheriff Clay embarked on a mission to clean his son's tree house. What really threw everybody off - because almost everyone knew of Mr. Lee's, uhm, shortcomings - was that Mrs. Lee was going doggie style on the plumber, with a twelve-inch strap-on dildo.

The Villagers 02

Jorge had loved Luisa since they were third graders. He loved the cute way she burnt her hair with a Zippo that she stole from her father's business partner. She, in turn, detested that, twenty years after, he still wore his knickers over his pants.

The Villagers 01

Whilst there had already been previous indications of her apparent lack of humor, everybody could not help but wonder why Cressida ate her neighbors' dogs raw.

From Tita Red of Hairbytes Eastwood

"I always like walking in the rain so no one can see me crying."

- Charlie Chaplin

For Tomato Maria

The stranger sang a theme from someone else’s dream.

The leaves began to fall and no one spoke at all.

But I can’t seem to recall when you came along.

Ingenue…

I just don’t know what to do…

The tree-lined avenue begins to fade from view.

Drowning past regrets in tea and cigarettes.

But I can’t seem to forget when you came along.

Ingenue…

I just don’t know what to do…

Advertisement 101

To anyone who reads this:

Please try to grab a copy of the February issue of Time Magazine.

Thank you.